You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
