we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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