Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize