Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
