Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
