I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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