he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Two words: blizzard sex
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
