He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
being pregnant is like rehab
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
