Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize