i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
