Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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