they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
