she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
