shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
