As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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