woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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