Where is the hickey?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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