There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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