It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
