He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
