Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
