That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
