Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
