Come see our sink grown plant.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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