i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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