I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
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