Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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