just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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