When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
