i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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