Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
