We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
