im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
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