filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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