4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize