Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just invented taco cereal.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
