they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
