Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
