Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize