I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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