Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
