my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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