Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
