He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
