omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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