I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
