Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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