my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
