the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize