The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
