well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize