You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
