I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
