i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
