New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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