Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
