awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize