She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
...so i touched it.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
