If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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