So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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