Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
