If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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